A Nice BIG...

...UPDATE!!!

Yes, this will be a long one because I keep on forgetting to write on this thing. I've been so busy procrastinating on studying for my GREs that I never have time to blog about what's going on in life these days, so here it goes...

So, on the 15th (Friday) was one of the best days ever!!! My friends from U of O (in Eugene) came up to go to an OSU gymnastics meet. One of my best friends, Stina, called me at work and I thought it was like an emergency or something since she never calls me anymore! When she told me she and another friend were coming up and asked if I wanted to go to the meet with them I said yes, and couldn't stop smiling! After high school, our group of friends went different ways...half went to OSU and the other half went to U of O and a couple of them went out of state, so it was great to see some of my high school friends again.

After the meet, we went to Shari's. Now this is where I would usually call my mom and tell her where I am, but I waited until she called (at around 10 pm) to tell her. She sounded so sleepy and I felt bad about whining to hang out with friends but you've got to give me a break...I hadn't seen them in forever! I asked her if I could go see a movie, Step Up 2, with them since they were planning on going, but of course my mom said no. But after much convincing and a little whining, she said yes. My mom knew most (if not all) my high school friends, so she said it was fine, as long as I was careful and that I stayed with my friends.

I ended up coming back home at around 12:30 am, but I couldn't stop smiling! It really was the most fun I've had in such a long time...and the most that I've smiled without my mouth hurting afterwards! It was great though. It showed me how much my parents trust me and I also think it had to do with having a cell phone so they can call and check up on me whenever they want, haha.

So, that's that...oh, and so far I've lost about 9.5 pounds! YAY!!! I haven't changed my diet all that much...just haven't eaten out too often and tried not to eat too many sweet things. I've mostly been going to Dixon, OSU's gym, for half an hour to an hour and burning between 400 and 700 calories depending on how I feel that day. I didn't work out at all this weekend though so I'll have to step it up tomorrow...probably go for 30 minutes each on the arc-trainer and the elliptical. We'll see.

Last week, I basically had a four day weekend from work. I had President's Day off on Monday, and Tuesday the Career Fair was on campus so I went to that and handed out a couple of resumes to employers...none of which I'm interested in by the way but I did it anyway. I need a full time job once I graduate and I can't wait for the right job to come along for me. I've applied for a couple jobs out of state because there's absolutely NOTHING here for liberal arts majors unless you want a job that you can get without finishing a degree. It's really annoying though, when the city that you live in doesn't have anything for you...no boys...no jobs...no nothing!

Another thing that's been on my mind (besides school, GREs, and getting ready for graduate school) is one of my friends. We've known each other for more than a year now and we're both English majors. We started hanging out last year, mostly working out (since she's my "work-out buddy"), but we went out to eat, took some of the same classes, etc. I think that because I've grown so close to her, I've started seeing things that I don't like about her. Let me start with things that are different about us. Most of her best friends are boys, most of mine are girls. She's kinda laid back whereas I'm punctual in everything I do. She goes out to party quite a bit, I stay at home like a good little girl and hang out with my family. She blames her parents for not giving her independence, and I accept that I'm dependent on my parents.

I know I said I wouldn't put up too much drama on this blog, but I have to make a rant...she's just begging for one!

She's really been bugging me these days because she's not making the right decisions and when she does this, she's such a big drama queen. Like last night, she really scared me and said (online) that she was going to get raped. She has two roommates who are guys, and one of them apparently had two of his friends over and one of them started feeling her up. So I asked her where she was, what she was doing, etc., and I told her to call 911. She kept on telling me to call her friends-with-benefits guy (fwbg), so I called a few times and nobody answered so I just left it. When I asked her where her phone was she was like "right here" and I thought, wtf (excuse me) do you want to call him then??? Stupid stupid stupid...I told her to call 911 again if it's really an emergency. She gave me a big "NO" on that and said that she was high.

Okay...two problems right here. One...you're not supposed to be around that many guys that you don't know, especially if you're not in your right mind. Two, you're not supposed to get high. She says that it calms her down, but it really is killing her brain cells. So when I asked her what had happened this morning, she said that she didn't remember and that she had her bra and panties on. I am seriously so frustrated by her. She tried to call her fwbg (who she trusts) but she said that he said he didn't believe her. Heck, I wouldn't believe her either. Who the heck gets high with that many guys around??? Guys that are drunk and high for that matter. That's the stupidest thing that I've ever heard her done, and I've heard her do some stupid things before!

She's also really bringing herself down these days and saying stuff like, "I don't want to do this anymore," "I hate my life, I want it to end" and I absolutely HATE it! She's already cut herself up pretty bad before (during X-mas break) but I think she was just doing that for attention, and now she says that she wants to find someone to love her and she doesn't trust anybody. HELLO!!! The problem is, she has too many friends who are guys, and not enough that are girls. I always tell her that you have to be able to love yourself in order to have someone love her in return, and she knows this but doesn't listen. She says she's lost a lot of friends because of her messes (really don't blame them), but she's not doing anything to fix her mistakes or learn from them. I ABSOLUTELY hate it! The weird thing is that I'm her only best friend who's a girl. She has others, but I'm the one who has the same classes as her and who she talks with most often. I wish I wasn't that person anymore though.

I hate drama, and I know she knows it, but she feels like she has no one else to confide in. I tell her to go live with her parents, or talk more with her parents but I don't think she does. She has a therapist but I don't even know how much that's helping her. It doesn't seem like it is anyway. I hate to say it, but I really don't feel like hanging out with her anymore. If she's not going to accept any good advice, if she's going to keep on making these mistakes, I'm not going to stand in her way. Why should I when she won't listen? I'm pretty sure she has some psychological problem because I know her father was an alcoholic (isn't anymore) and I know she was abused (I don't know if it was physically but I know she was verbally). So yeah...that's my big rant for the day. Hifsa knows how much I rant about her though, lol. She calls her the emo-girl, which is funny.

I'm still not sure what to do about her though. She asked me about what classes I'm taking next term, and I didn't want to say so I just said something about how I signed up for all that were available, lol. Weak excuse but I couldn't think of anything else since I'm no good at lying.

But yeah...that's been my life lately, lol. I hate a million and one things to do before March is over, one of which is writing my statement of objectives for graduate school, and of course, taking my GREs which will happen this Thursday. I'm not nervous right now, but I know I will be on the drive over. I haven't studied much and I know I'm not going to do so well, but I'm going to try anyway.

I'm hoping that since I'm going to Eugene, Stina and I (and maybe a couple of other friends) will be able to go out to eat at Olive Garden afterwards so I can eat my problems away, lol. So, we'll see what happens. I'm almost done reading We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson, which we're supposed to read for ENG 465 (The Uncanny Novella) and then after that I need to work on the literary index project for my English internship. *Sigh*...so much to do so little time...